Comments on your Peer Reviews

[pcliao]

Dear all,

Some of you were not critical enough and were not able to notice problems in your classmates' essays. You should bear in mind what we have learned in class about good paragraphs and essays when you're reviewing other people' s and also your own essays.

Also, most of you didn't organize your ideas when you gave the peer reviews. Please note the suggestions I give below and try to improve your reviews.

1. Try to organize your comments based on the logical division of ideas such as "essay organization," "paragraph organization," "sentence structure," and "grammar and mechanics."

2. Point out your classmates' "specific" problems and errors by giving concrete support from their essays.

3. After pointing out the problems, you can also try to give suggestions about how to solve them.

For good models, please read Micki's, Yvonne's, Mina's (above in AA), Annie's, and Vernice's (in AC) reviews.

The five students mentioned above please post your reviews in your replies to this message. Don't mention the reviewees' name and article title. Instead, please use "X" to replace their confidential information. Thanks!

Jane

[Vernice]

First of all, there are some wrong spellings in first and second paragraphs. Second, the punctuation such as space, comma, ect are put in the wrong place, too. Then, there are some run-on sentences in your articles. In the second paragraph, you use some good examples to support your topic sentence. But before you use Flethcher Joyce Fay's words, you can give more concrete support about Forrester. Then, you wrote "...and feels the world is meaningless to him." You can try to give another spcific example to prove that the world is meaningless to Forrester. In third paragraph, I can't understand what you're going to say in the sentence "...he went back to Forrester's home and gave himself up the next day."

In the concluding paragraph, you wrote, "...Jamal has changed Forrester's mind..." Before this sentence, you can explain more about why Jamal has changed Forrester's mind or what that makes you conclude with this idea